Woman Attempts To Cram Few Years’ Worth Of Body Positivity Into 20 Minutes Before Trying On Bathing Suits

EAU CLAIRE, WI—Speeding through affirmations about her looks, area woman Cara Waller attempted Tuesday to cram a few years’ worth of body positivity into the 20 minutes she had before trying on bathing suits. “Listen up, girl, we don’t have a lot of time here, but just remember every body is a beach body and your value as a person isn’t tied to what size you wear,” said Waller, 28, furiously scribbling “Beauty is a feeling” onto a Post-it note and sticking it to her bathroom mirror before taking a full 45 seconds to list things she liked about her appearance. “I should have been focusing on radical self-acceptance all along, but for now, I’m just going to repeat some body-positive mantras while I look for a new swimsuit. Happiness isn’t size-specific! I’m more than just a number on a scale! I love me and that’s all that matters! Hopefully that will tide me over until I’m done shopping.” At press time, Waller had resigned herself to a black one-piece with a matching sarong.

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