SAN FRANCISCO—Expressing frustration with the lack of appreciation that the recent purchase had garnered, local woman Kate Wheeler was reportedly annoyed Thursday that her cat would rather play with a hair tie than the expensive gaming console she had bought it. “The guy at GameStop said the Nintendo Switch was popular with hardcore and casual gamers, but little did I know, all Kiki wants is a hair elastic to bat around,” said Wheeler, 29, bemoaning that she spent her hard-earned cash on an extra controller and headset to enhance the 4-year-old feline’s gaming experience. “First, I thought she wasn’t into open-world stuff, so I got her Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, but she’s still only mildly interested in the power cord. You’d assume based on how much she likes the laser pointer she’d go nuts about the dual-screen graphics. I’ve tried everything—changing the button layout, sprinkling catnip on the controllers—but still, it looks like it was $400 straight down the drain.” At press time, Wheeler had purchased a high-performance laptop in case her cat was partial to PC gaming.
More from The Onion