Illustration for article titled Woman Annoyed Cat Would Rather Play With Hair Tie Than Expensive Gaming Console She Bought It

SAN FRANCISCO—Expressing frustration with the lack of appreciation that the recent purchase had garnered, local woman Kate Wheeler was reportedly annoyed Thursday that her cat would rather play with a hair tie than the expensive gaming console she had bought it. “The guy at GameStop said the Nintendo Switch was popular with hardcore and casual gamers, but little did I know, all Kiki wants is a hair elastic to bat around,” said Wheeler, 29, bemoaning that she spent her hard-earned cash on an extra controller and headset to enhance the 4-year-old feline’s gaming experience. “First, I thought she wasn’t into open-world stuff, so I got her Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, but she’s still only mildly interested in the power cord. You’d assume based on how much she likes the laser pointer she’d go nuts about the dual-screen graphics. I’ve tried everything—changing the button layout, sprinkling catnip on the controllers—but still, it looks like it was $400 straight down the drain.” At press time, Wheeler had purchased a high-performance laptop in case her cat was partial to PC gaming.

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