KNOXVILLE, TN—Admitting it was pretty disappointing to still be using a standard, single-function water fixture every morning, local 28-year-old Kelsey Bishop told reporters Wednesday that she had always thought she’d have a far more impressive showerhead by this point in her life. “I figured that once I was out of college and working for a while, I’d be in a place where I’d have a showerhead with multiple spray settings and some kind of massage feature, not one of these fixed chrome ones,” said Bishop, adding that she had wholly expected to own a rainfall shower panel with a detachable handheld component by the time she was approaching her 30s. “It’s not like I pictured myself having multiple showerheads or wall-mounted body jets by this age. At the very least, though, I thought there would be a glass door that swings on a hinge instead of a gross plastic curtain. But life doesn’t always work out the way you want.” Bishop was reportedly still holding out hope that she would have a separate bathtub that was on the entirely opposite side of the bathroom from her shower before turning 40.