YELLOW BLUFF, AL—Emphasizing how important it was for his well-being to cut the cord and start harassing more minorities in person, white supremacist Alan Kearney, 63, told reporters Thursday that he’s been living a much more fulfilling, racist life since getting kicked offline. “Sitting behind a screen all day was really taking its toll on me, which is why it’s been so refreshing to actually find ‘Unite The Right’ rallies or Klan meetups where I can interact face-to-face with other extremists like myself,” said Kearney, whose recent ban from Reddit and 4chan was just the push he needed to leave the house and find a community of like-minded people who believe their racial superiority must lead to the formation of a pure ethno-state by any means necessary. “Sure, there were Jews and Muslims I was telling to kill themselves online, but it’s much more rewarding to go out into the real world, stand outside a synagogue or mosque, and do it there. It’s so much more liberating.” Kearney added that, most importantly, his decision to be racist in the real world sets a good example for his racist children.

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