Illustration for article titled ‘Well, I Could Do That’ Says Art Museum Attendee Viewing Security Guard On Lunch Break

NEW YORK—Shaking his head in disbelief at what passes for art these days, museum visitor Francis Bach was reportedly heard muttering “Well, I could do that” to himself while viewing a Metropolitan Museum of Art security guard on his lunch break. “This doesn’t really seem all that impressive,” said the 46-year-old, noting the mayonnaise clearly visible all over the edges of the bread on the guard’s “haphazard, makeshift” sandwich, which was accompanied by a bruised banana and a diet Coke and clearly thrown together at the last minute. “Maybe I just don’t get it? But to be honest, I don’t think there’s anything to get. Ham and cheese on wheat bread seems like the most obvious thing in the world. My second-grader could come up with something better than that. I suppose it might be a comment on sandwiches or the food industry, but even so, it’s not like that took a lot of skill or vision to pull off.” Bach later changed his mind and expressed sheer wonder and amazement after getting really close to the seated guard.


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