Illustration for article titled Well, At Least High School Teacher And Student Ended Up Getting Married

RIO RANCHO, NM—Feeling comforted by the news that the scandalous and illicit affair eventually amounted to something, school district sources noted Monday that, well, at least high school teacher Lisa Calloway, 52, and her former student Dennis Wilkes, 32, had married. “It was definitely fucked up that Ms. Calloway started sleeping with Dennis when he was in her junior year AP English class, but I guess it makes it somewhat better that they wound up tying the knot,” said the newlywed couple’s former classmate and student Jeffrey Stefanoff, acknowledging that it was “a bit of a silver lining” to find the two had remained together during the years Calloway spent serving her prison sentence. “I suppose it’s good that, although their relationship is absolutely founded on a grossly unequal power dynamic, that it eventually settled into a socially acceptable structure. And we know for certain that in the case of the marriage, he was both consenting and capable of doing so. That’s kind of a win?” At press time, the couple has announced their separation due to Calloway becoming romantically involved with a much, much younger man.


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