FORT WASHINGTON, PA—Expressing disbelief over how well he’s adjusted to civilian life, 33-year-old Marine Corps veteran Aaron Anunoby said Monday he was a little surprised that killing all those people during his years in Afghanistan didn’t leave him with even a mild case of post-traumatic stress disorder. “I always imagined I’d lie awake at night screaming from horrifying flashbacks, but nope—I sleep like a baby and actually feel pretty great,” said Anunoby, adding that his relationship with his wife and children “couldn’t be better” despite the strain his seven tours of duty put on his family relationships. “I kind of have to bite my tongue when I talk to the people I served with, ’cause I don’t want to rub it in their faces. I thought for sure I’d be haunted by the memory of shooting that kid who snuck up on us back in Kabul, but I’ve truthfully never felt more at peace. I’m totally fine whenever I hear fireworks, too. If anything, they make me nostalgic for my childhood.” Anunoby went on to state that he does experience occasional flashbacks, but only of the great times he and his buddies used to have hanging out and having fun in between never-ending pitched battles against the Taliban.

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