Illustration for article titled Vegetarian Begins Sad, Private Routine Of Scanning Menu For Little Green V’s

KANSAS CITY, MO—Even as her dining companions at Tanner’s Grill remarked on how tasty everything looked, sources said Wednesday that vegetarian Eve McCormick once more began her sad, private routine of scanning the menu for the little green V’s indicating dishes she could eat. “Here we go again,” McCormick said, commencing the depressing ritual in which she skims the columns of appetizers and entrées for the letter signifying that a food item was ethically permissible for her to order. “Nope, no green V’s yet, not even for the vegetable soup, which I’m sure uses a beef broth. Now I’ll flip the menu over in search of a separate vegetarian section—there isn’t one, of course, so I’ll just return to the front and see if I missed some fine print that tells me meat-based dishes may be made vegetarian upon request.” At press time, McCormick’s side order of steamed broccoli and a baked potato had just arrived.


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