NASSAU, BAHAMAS—Coming a full five days into the eight-day voyage, Russell family sources reported Monday that Uncle Neil had posted a terse, emotionless Facebook post from his cruise ship vacation, thus far the only dispatch from the week-long tropical getaway. Noting that the update failed to even mention the lavish buffets, sun-drenched decks, or any of the well-appointed cruise ship’s other amenities, family members said that the post instead contained a photo of a nondescript cabin simply captioned “Our room.” Sources added that the update neglected to refer to any beautiful island locales or points of historical interest at which the cruise ship had docked, and that the only indication that Uncle Neil’s family had accompanied him on the cruise at all was an image of a blurry plate of food that inadvertently included what appeared to be Aunt Ellen’s arm. At press time, no one had commented on the post, but it had been liked by two of Uncle Neil’s coworkers.

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