Underprepared Second-Grade Teacher Really Leaning On Class’s Slow Readers To Eat Up Some Clock

ROCKPORT, ME—Asking everyone to open their books while she honed in on the students who looked the most nervous, underprepared second-grade teacher Judy Fabacher confirmed Monday that she’d really been leaning on her class’s slow readers to eat up some clock. “Alright, we have 20 more minutes before you get to go to lunch, so would someone like to come up and read page 27 for us—maybe someone from the back of the classroom?” said Fabacher, who, after taking way too long to give instructions, refused to call on a single student who raised their hand and instead chose a boy named Tommy, who she knew would reliably mispronounce any word with more than one syllable. “Alright, Tommy! Just speak up, because remember the rules—if I can’t hear you, I’m going to make you repeat what you said. And then, after Tommy, Alejandro, why don’t you read? This will be a really good way for you to practice speaking English.” At press time, Fabacher told reporters she had opted to wheel out the TV set and put on a movie after she accidentally made a kid with a stutter cry. 

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