LOS ANGELES—Maintaining her complete dedication to the comfort and happiness of the teenager who just threw a sweater at her face, local mom Julie Macon reportedly continued to give unconditional love on Thursday to her daughter Kara, who just called her a bitch in the middle of a local Hollister. “You’re being such a bitch,” said Kara to the woman who brought her into the world and nurtured her from helpless infancy to adolescence with nothing but pure devotion and care, continually putting aside her own needs and desires to ensure the success of the 15-year-old who just suggested she leave her credit card and wait in the fucking car. “Are you retarded? I told you it doesn’t fit. Either get me the right one, or leave me the hell alone.” Sources confirmed that the teenager who could do literally nothing to jeopardize her mother’s love for her later screamed “I wish you would fucking die!” and locked herself in her room for the rest of the night.

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