MINNEAPOLIS—Annoyed that the fruit was even now just sitting there next to his computer monitor, sources at data analytics firm Progressive Solutions told reporters Wednesday that it was unclear what coworker Kevin Tanner, who has had a banana on his desk all day, was waiting for. “Come on, man, just do it already,” said colleague Karen Nguyen, adding that it was already pushing 4:30 and that he shouldn’t have put the banana on his desk in the first place if he wasn’t going to step up and eat it. “Seriously, it’s ripe and ready to go. It’s not a decoration. Just peel it and get to work on that bad boy.” Tanner’s coworkers were reportedly even more indignant when he suddenly reached into his backpack and pulled out an apple.
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