Teacher With Brand-New Chalk Holder Must Have Come Into Some Money Recently

Illustration for article titled Teacher With Brand-New Chalk Holder Must Have Come Into Some Money Recently

OXFORD, MS—Sensing that their colleague had suddenly moved up in the world, break room sources at Randall Elementary School reported Wednesday that fifth-grade teacher Patricia Adams—who was earlier spotted with a new set of chalk holders—must have come into some money recently. “Damn, looks like Patty’s become something of a big spender—whoah, are those things metal?” said fellow teacher Melissa Schermer, noting that the brand-name Creativity Street accessories were way too pricey to afford on their modest salary. “Word on the street, too, is that she’s now keeping a three-pack of the good staples in her desk. Which begs the question, is there something she’s not telling us?” Cafeteria sources later reported that Madame Moneybags had developed a suspicious taste for Perrier.

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