Teacher Who Dedicates Life To Students Total Fucking Bitch

Illustration for article titled Teacher Who Dedicates Life To Students Total Fucking Bitch

MERIDIAN, ID—Students at Union Junior High School reported Monday that eighth-grade history teacher Evelyn Carmody, a tireless educator who has dedicated her whole life to the vocation of teaching, is a total goddamn bitch. “I fucking hate her,” 14-year-old Scarlett Ramsey said of the woman who not only stays up well past midnight providing individual feedback on each paper she grades, but also sets aside nearly $1,000 of her income each year to buy books and basic supplies for students who can’t afford them. “Give us homework over a three-day weekend? Who does that bitch think she is? I hope she dies.” Sources also stated that eighth-grade English teacher Mark Bradstone, who doesn’t really give a shit about his job and shows up hungover most mornings, is super popular and very cool.

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