‘Taco Bell For Life’ Winner Chooses To Receive Winnings As Single Lump Meal

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TAOS, NM—Arguing that incremental payments would favor the fast-food chain in the long run, ‘Taco Bell For Life” winner Jacob Lalu chose to receive his winnings Friday as a single lump meal. “The experts will tell you to get your Baja Blasts in installments, but I could really use those bad boys right now,” said Lalu, conceding that he would “take a bath on taxes” for his choice to accept 4,000 Chalupas and 2,000 boxes of Nachos BellGrandes. “I figure I might as well get these 6,000 Crunchwraps while I’m still alive. Either way, I’m gonna have a bunch of relatives hitting me up for some Cravings Boxes, so why not have it all once? It’s gonna be a little dicey hauling two tons of cheese in little plastic cups to my car, but we’ll make do. The bigger challenge will be to stop myself from eating it all at once.” At press time, Lalu told reporters he had nothing left after getting high and scarfing down his entire Taco Bell savings in one night.