Sweat-Drenched Woman Types Frantically As Countdown Threatens To Release Temporarily Reserved Show Tickets

Illustration for article titled Sweat-Drenched Woman Types Frantically As Countdown Threatens To Release Temporarily Reserved Show Tickets

PROVIDENCE, RI—Wiping beads of sweat from her brow as the web page’s 5-minute time limit rapidly approached zero, local woman Justine Nichols typed frantically Wednesday as a countdown threatened to release temporarily reserved show tickets. “Oh my God, oh my God, hurry up, I don’t have time for this,” whispered a trembling Nichols, pressing her fingernails deep into her palms as the information page stalled, froze, and automatically refreshed while she entered her name, selected her seats, and typed in her credit card information. “No, no, no. I said two tickets. Not four. And this isn’t the night I wanted. Do I have to go back to the previous page to change nights? Or will that erase everything? Shit. It’s only been about 60 seconds and already the seats are 50% gone. God, this website sucks. Load faster. Load faster!” At press time, Nichols let out a long, pained scream after clicking “submit” only to have the internet shut down in her apartment just before completing the transaction.