POUGHKEEPSIE, NY—As they each attempted to avoid the responsibility while still upholding the appearance of selfless concern, the three adult siblings of the MacIntyre family engaged in a tense game of chicken to decide which of them would care for their aging mother, sources confirmed Monday. “Mom could probably come live with me—there’s a little more space in our house now that the kids are away at college,” said youngest sibling Alison MacIntyre, 54, who, after setting herself on a collision course to support her ailing mother for the foreseeable future, sat silently praying she might be spared the burden at the last second by a counteroffer from either her brother or her sister. “Of course, if the boys come back to live at home over the summer we’d all be a bit cramped for a few months, but it’ll be fine. I can probably manage it.” According to sources, as her children’s tense standoff continued indefinitely, 82-year-old Marjorie MacIntyre began to worry that no one would call her out on her repeated bluff that she could take care of herself on her own.

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