Self-Esteem Built Up At Theater Camp To Get Shy Student Through First 6 Minutes Of School Year

QUINCY, MA—Exhausting his reserves of confidence well before first-period roll call, student Logan Mahaffey found the self-esteem he painstakingly acquired during summer theater camp could only get him through his first six minutes of the school year, the 7th-grader admitted Monday. “If I can play the lead in Jesus Christ Superstar, there’s nothing I can’t do,” said Mahaffey, mere moments before a classmate threw a water bottle at his head after noticing him whistling the tune to “I Got Rhythm.” “Up on that stage, I felt like I was truly myself for the first time, and now I know I can conquer anything. I can’t wait to tell everyone about [the things they will mercilessly torment me about for the rest of the school year, using my enthusiasm for theater as a rationale to exclude me from all social functions].” At press time, Mahaffey was unaware that tomorrow’s pummeling from classmates for wearing an Anything Goes cast T-shirt would have a much greater impact on his self-esteem.

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