ANNANDALE, VA—Saying it was just “common courtesy” to sanitize them for whoever exercised next, local man Nick Dukas told reporters Thursday that he always makes sure to wipe down his personal trainer after working out. “I sweat all over, so it would be pretty rude of me not to at least clean the fitness instructor up before hitting the locker room,” said Dukas as he wiped the surface of the muscular, over-six-foot-tall exercise consultant with a disposable disinfecting cloth, explaining how gross it was to start a workout session when your fitness guru was all smelly and covered in germs. “Not only is it important to prevent the spread of bacteria and infections, but also, disinfecting his hands and feet only takes two seconds. I remember using a guy named Daniel once after somebody forgot to clean him, and I got the nastiest rash.” At press time, Dukas added that after wiping down his personal trainer, he always makes sure to put him back in the correct spot on the rack.

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