CHICAGO—According to a report issued Friday by sociologists at DePaul University, local man Nick Mahedy has cut you off mid-sentence because what you just said reminded him of something he would prefer to talk about instead. The report states that moments ago, when you started to speak about the NBA playoffs, the mere mention of sports prompted Mahedy to recall a “fascinating” episode of 99% Invisible about the architecture of baseball stadiums, a completely unrelated subject that it would appear he is far more interested in discussing than the topic you chose to bring up. Sources confirmed he is now in his eighth minute of summarizing the podcast and is getting into details about the iron trusses and bricks used to construct Oriole Park at Camden Yards, information he apparently just likes to hear himself recite aloud, because you obviously didn’t express an interest in it with the half dozen or so words you were able to get out about the upcoming Bucks-Celtics game. Included in the report is a prediction that Mahedy’s current discourse on the subject of architecture will soon lead him to remember a book he read in his days as an art history major, a digression that will make it clear the only thing he ever talks about is whatever stray fact happens to float to the forefront of his mind at a particular moment. At press time, Mahedy was reportedly reminded of a funny story about leaving a party after you told him “I really have to go now.”

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