SAN FRANCISCO—Noting no improvements since suddenly appearing on his left arm several weeks ago, a detailed report released Tuesday by local man Derrick Hart revealed that his rash was not going away. “I don’t know what it’s from, but now it’s starting to hurt,” said Hart, explaining that he first noticed the skin irritation over three weeks ago and after conducting several methods of treatment, including soap and water, anti-itch cream, and, finally, leaving it alone for a few days, he concluded that these experiments had little to no effect. “It has definitely changed; there’s a weird, yellowish crust growing on it now. I’m pretty sure this is a sign it’s getting worse though because now it’s on my other arm, too.” Hart concluded that further research would need to be done as he entered his symptoms into an internet search browser.

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