TACOMA, WA—Fully aware that the issue could cause tension and conflict for his family, recently divorced dad Frank Harrison confirmed Friday that he was waiting for the right time to introduce his children to the woman he hooked up with last night. “The divorce was just finalized last week, and they tell you not to rush into anything, so that’s why I’m thinking 10 or 11 a.m. would be okay,” said Harrison, noting that while there’s no perfect time to find out your father banged a complete stranger, holding off until after Aiden and Rebecca had eaten breakfast could help ease the news. “We’ve been together for almost 10 hours at this point, so I feel like waiting any longer could make things weird. You only get to make a first impression once, and I want to make sure they hit it off. I was pretty drunk last night, but from what I can remember, she seems like a really great lady.” At press time, Harrison breathed a sigh of relief after discovering the woman had snuck out in the middle of the night.
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