Illustration for article titled Random Uncle’s Wife Crying A Bunch Throughout Grandma’s Funeral

BROOMALL, PA—Confusing several immediate members of the family of Sophia Lindbergh with her flamboyant sorrow, grieving relatives confirmed Tuesday that a random uncle’s wife was “sure crying a bunch” throughout their grandma’s funeral. “Wow, that lady’s really losing it there. Grandpa isn’t even crying that much,” said granddaughter Casey Lindberg-Simmons, who was unable to confirm that her grandmother had ever met Uncle Mike’s third wife, but seemed to remember that “Nana” was too ill to attend their wedding. “She spent an awfully long time at the casket saying goodbye, but I doubt they had much of a relationship. I barely ever see Uncle Mike, either. They live in Boulder or Denver or something, so I’m a little surprised to see them make the trip. And not to put too fine a point on it, but grandma was 93, so she had a good run. There’s no reason to be wailing like it’s some sudden damn tragedy.” Uncle Mike was later observed gently but firmly restraining his wife from walking to the lectern to deliver her thoughts during the eulogy.

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