ST. JOSEPH, MI—After he became confused during their most recent morning lesson, sources confirmed Friday that local preschooler Alex Hamlin asked to borrow the notes that classmate Liam Benson had taken on shapes. “Hey, Liam, can I see your notes from today, ’cause I’ve really got nothing written down after the stuff Mrs. Leclair said about circles,” said Hamlin, who figured that Benson—a student who’s widely recognized for knowing all the colors—had paid close attention to the lecture, which covered material that would almost certainly appear on an upcoming test. “I was with her on triangle—I’m solid on that—but then she started talking about things with four sides and I just kept spacing out. I looked at what I managed to write down about ovals and it doesn’t even make sense. She was going way too fast. I’ll have them back to you by tomorrow, I promise.” At press time, a frustrated Hamlin was intently looking over Benson’s notes and reminding himself that he didn’t want a repeat of last year’s fiasco when he misidentified several sounds barnyard animals make.

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