CHULA VISTA, CA—Awed and profoundly moved after witnessing such Zen-like serenity and focus, sources close to pistachio-eater Lawrence Carmichael confirmed Wednesday that he had achieved a complete “flow” state while snacking on the shelled seeds. “I believe his consciousness tuned out all extraneous stimuli or phenomena until his entire universe became encompassed by that simple bowl of nuts,” said astonished onlooker Ryan Martinez, who claimed to have “glimpsed a brief yet somehow boundless flicker of eternity” in the mesmerizing rhythm of Carmichael’s opening of the culinary nuts, consumption of the delicious nutmeats, and discarding of the shells, during which his motions echoed the movements of the planets in their orbits and the very stars in their heavenly courses. “This is unbelievable. This is beautiful. It’s incredibly efficient and unfathomably elegant and somehow absolutely effortless, all at once. I’ve been watching him for 20 minutes now and he’s barely noticed.” The delicate equilibrium of Carmichael’s flow state was later disturbed beyond recovery after he choked to death on a shell.

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