ALBANY, NY—Observing that the choicest bits were long gone, a local fly confirmed Friday that by the time it discovered the piece of dog shit near a tree in Ridgefield Park, the defecation had been pretty well picked over. “Dang, you can tell this was some real primo shit, probably from a pit bull or something,” said the fly, lamenting that there wasn’t much to choose from beyond a few dry, undigested crumbs and some hair. “It’s been sitting in the sun for a while, which is great, but someone already got to all the good chunks. I wish I’d gotten here five or 10 minutes ago, because I’m not even sure I can piece together a full meal from what’s left.” At press time, onlookers reported that the fly’s day appeared to have improved dramatically after it discovered a fresh pile of human shit the next alley over.
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