Piece Of Dog Shit Pretty Picked Over By Time Fly Got There

Illustration for article titled Piece Of Dog Shit Pretty Picked Over By Time Fly Got There

ALBANY, NY—Observing that the choicest bits were long gone, a local fly confirmed Friday that by the time it discovered the piece of dog shit near a tree in Ridgefield Park, the defecation had been pretty well picked over. “Dang, you can tell this was some real primo shit, probably from a pit bull or something,” said the fly, lamenting that there wasn’t much to choose from beyond a few dry, undigested crumbs and some hair. “It’s been sitting in the sun for a while, which is great, but someone already got to all the good chunks. I wish I’d gotten here five or 10 minutes ago, because I’m not even sure I can piece together a full meal from what’s left.” At press time, onlookers reported that the fly’s day appeared to have improved dramatically after it discovered a fresh pile of human shit the next alley over.

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