Illustration for article titled Parents Officially Designate Upstairs Television For Anyone Who Doesn’t Want To Watch Thanksgiving Football

GREENVILLE, NC—Aiming to accommodate family members’ preferences and avoid any frustration, local parents Melissa and Ron Walters officially designated the upstairs television for anybody who did not want to watch the Thanksgiving football games on Thursday, sources reported. “You can use the TV in the guest room if you don’t want to watch football,” said Melissa Walters, allocating the nearly 20-year-old television as a secondary viewing option for those relatives, such as her nieces and Aunt Shelly, who had expressed irritation in the past at the television being tuned to the NFL games for the entire afternoon. “That TV doesn’t get the good cable, but I bet you could find the parade if you want to watch that. Or you could always pop in a DVD—there are some good ones in the cabinet up there.” Walters then reportedly commissioned her 13-year-old son, Noah, to run upstairs and get the DVD player working for everyone.

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