WHITE BIRD, ID—Quietly discussing whether the canine needed some kind of psychological help, members of the Elk Creek wolf pack were worried Tuesday that a young member might be a sociopath after he heartlessly mauled a defenseless rabbit. “It’s really unnerving, he just ripped apart that poor thing without any remorse,” said pack leader Blackcoat the Windrunner, who expressed concerns that this was just the latest in a long line of unnerving incidents including biting his younger sister and stalking around in the dead of night trying to catch mice. “I don’t even think he realized how disgusting this was, I mean he tore its leg off when it was still alive. We hoped he was just a little awkward, but this is terrifying. Unfortunately, this is exactly how his father started before we kicked him out of the pack.” At press time, Blackcoat had been banished from the pack after the young wolf went behind his back and convinced the other members that he was secretly plotting against them.
More from The Onion