Illustration for article titled Mother Confident That Adult Son’s Cycle Of Emotional Terrorism Will Calm Down Once He Finds The Right Girl

HOUSTON—Writing off the behavior as common for his age, local mother Deenah Young told sources Thursday she was confident her 26-year-old son Devin’s psychological abuse of all the women he had ever dated was simply a phase that would end when he met the right girl. “I know it’s a little silly for Dev to still be leveraging sociopathic levels of misogyny toward every member of the female gender, but he’s just waiting for that special someone,” said Young, who expressed complete assurance that once he really fell in love, her son would cease the decades-long pattern in which he has engaged in the emotional manipulation, vicious ridicule, and ultimate abandonment of every woman he has dated. “Sometimes the right one has to come along before a boy will stop barraging girlfriends with constant comments about their weight, or hang up those youthful desires to isolate a woman from her friends and family in order to take advantage of her. Devin’s having his fun, but mark my words, before he hits 30, he’ll get tired and settle down. Then he won’t spend all his time maliciously destroying his partner’s confidence just to prop up his own anymore. And who knows? Maybe there’s a girl out there who will find his constant oscillation between manipulative isolation and suffocating neediness endearing.” Reports later confirmed Young couldn’t help but chuckle and shake her head at her son’s hijinks after hearing yet another girlfriend had filed a restraining order against him.


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