COLUMBUS, OH—Wishing her child would channel his enthusiasm for virtual reality into real, in-the-flesh human interaction, Annabelle Rund expressed her annoyance Monday that her son Andrew, 14, insisted on spending a beautiful day playing violent video games when he could be outside killing people instead. “The sun is shining, visibility is good, everyone in the neighborhood is out and about presenting a perfect target, and he’s wasting his time murdering people on Xbox when he could be outside doing the real thing,” said Rund, expressing frustration that her son would not only opt to waste his life by playing hundreds of hours of Call Of Duty: WWII, but also compound his failings by throwing away his hard-earned aiming skills by mowing down victims who aren’t even real. “Like any parent, I just want him to get out there and make some real-life memories of the life draining from someone’s eyes. My parents made me go outside and hurt people every day, and I’m much better for it.” Andrew refused to comment at length on his mother’s remarks, though he has reportedly often been heard responding to his mother by saying “Video games don’t even work like that, Mom.”

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