Mom Flatly Informs 30-Year-Old Son He’s Getting 3 Sweaters And A Nintendo Switch For Christmas

Illustration for article titled Mom Flatly Informs 30-Year-Old Son He’s Getting 3 Sweaters And A Nintendo Switch For Christmas

WILMINGTON, DE—Dispensing with any air of formality, local mother Linda Southerton flatly informed her 30-year-old son James that he would be getting three sweaters and a Nintendo Switch for Christmas, sources confirmed Friday. “Hi, here’s what I’m sending you this year,” said Southeron in a brief, clipped phone call, notifying her son that the sweaters had been on sale at Banana Republic and had only cost $60 altogether. “I’m about to click ‘Purchase,’ so they should arrive by Thursday—you can open them right away to see if they fit, and if you don’t want the Switch, I’ll email you the receipt so you can return it to Target.” At press time, Southerton had called again to ask if it would be easier to just send a check for $350.