Minnesota Resident Thinking Of Finally Packing It All Up And Moving Someplace Warm Like Michigan

MINNEAPOLIS—Admitting that this week’s extreme wind chills were starting to get to her, Minnesota resident Anne Mauer confirmed Tuesday that she’s seriously thinking of packing it all up and moving somewhere warm like Michigan. “The winters here can be so brutal. Maybe it’s about time I go someplace down south like Detroit or Kalamazoo,” said Mauer, adding that she had even applied to a few jobs in Iowa but worried it’d be too far from her friends and family back home. “I visited my sister in Ohio last Christmas, and the lowest it ever got there was, like, 10 degrees. It was so nice. Supposedly, they only had, like, two and a half feet of snow all winter. That’s what I want.” At press time, Mauer had given up plans to move and settled instead on a week-long vacation in Rochester.

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