DAYTONA BEACH, FL—Upon noticing that all the other customers in the H&R Block lobby were holding stacks of paper much thicker than his own, local man Paul Uriarte was said to be overtaken by a sharp and paralyzing wave of anxiety Wednesday. “Oh, God, some of these people brought so much stuff they have binder clips and folders to keep it all together,” Uriarte reportedly thought to himself, growing increasingly nervous as he glanced at the nearly three-quarters of an inch of forms, statements, receipts, and other documentation on the lap of the woman next to him. “And that guy over there has everything organized with color-coded tabs! All I have are my W-2s and this thing they sent me for my student loans. Uh-oh.” At press time, sources confirmed Uriarte had broken into a cold sweat upon overhearing the words “itemized deductions.”

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