SPOKANE, WA—Grateful to have a couple of days free from his job responsibilities, sales representative Sam Roslindale told reporters Friday that he likes to use his weekends to make entirely different mistakes than he does during the workweek. “I spend so many hours at the office making professional errors that it’s nice to have a little time to ruin my personal life,” said Roslindale, adding that after five days in a row of alienating coworkers and falling well short of sales goals, he appreciated having 48 solid hours to just focus on damaging his relationships with family and friends. “I need that Saturday and Sunday to drink too much, yell at my wife for no reason, and let my daughter down. Then, come Monday, I’ll be ready to resume destroying my career all over again.” Roslindale went on to say that while he was glad to have the weekend, he would love to take a long vacation to really screw things up.

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