Man Regrets Wasting Money On College After Failing To Secure Perfect Dream Life By 24

Illustration for article titled Man Regrets Wasting Money On College After Failing To Secure Perfect Dream Life By 24em/em

NEW YORK—Noting that his four years at Fordham University hadn’t even led to a 3,000-square-foot penthouse apartment on the Upper East Side yet, local 24-year-old Alex Michaelson, who still hasn’t achieved his dream life, told reporters Tuesday he regrets wasting money on a college education. “What’s the point of going $30,000 in debt if my starting annual salary out of college is only going to be $60,000 per year?” said Michaelson, who, despite aspiring to be a high-powered CEO, simply has a steady position as an operations manager at a successful Midtown real estate firm. “I studied my ass off majoring in computer science and I’ve been in the workforce for 18 months, but here I am now, a 24-year-old without a beautiful family, a second home, multiple sports cars, or an issue of GQ with my face on the cover. The whole thing’s such a racket.” Michaelson added that all he had to show for his education was a worthless piece of paper and a luxurious studio apartment in the East Village.

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