ITHACA, NY—Acknowledging that he must accept the consequences of his actions, local 37-year-old Christopher McGwire told reporters Monday that he has no one else to blame but himself for the targeted pool toy advertisements that have been regularly appearing in his browser window over the past two weeks. “As annoying and invasive as these banner ads are, I have to admit that I’m the one who looked at a few inflatable inner tubes a few weekends back,” said McGwire, who first began to see the swim-related banner ads after aimlessly browsing the selection of dive sticks and floating ride-on toys at the online store of a pool supplies retailer last month. “Honestly, I can’t say that I didn’t sort of ask to see pictures of pool noodles, swim floaties, and light-up beach balls every time I go online. It’s my own fault, really, and I just have to deal with it.” McGwire, who confirmed that he often clicks on untrustworthy links, admitted that he probably deserves to deal with his laptop’s slow computer speed as well.
More from The Onion
The Con Pays Off: After Years Of Feigning Interest, George R.R. Martin Has Bolted From The ‘Elden Ring’ Offices With All The Topless Elf Concept Art His Arms Can Carry