Man Not Sure If He’s Tying Condom Correctly

Illustration for article titled Man Not Sure If He’s Tying Condom Correctly

TULSA, OK—Struggling to put on the latex contraceptive, local man Kyle Levine confirmed after several attempts Wednesday that he was not sure whether he was tying his condom correctly. “Okay, so it’s over, under, up, and—wait, that’s not right,” said Levine, complaining that no matter how carefully he followed the step-by-step tutorials on YouTube, his lubricated prophylactic device came out a tangled, knotted mess that looked nothing like the ones in the videos. “How did Dad say to do this again? Because there’s no way it’s supposed to have this many loops. Maybe I can just tuck the ends in and no one will notice? Dammit, I knew I should have left it tied and slid it off the way I had it during my last job interview.” At press time, sources confirmed that a resigned Levine had opted to just buy a clip-on condom.

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