NEW YORK—Eager to begin the exciting next chapter in his life, Polaris Market Solutions associate Chris Wardentine left the job he would kill to have back three years from now to pursue his dream of documentary filmmaking, sources confirmed Thursday. “I really do enjoy working here, but sometimes you just have to step out of your comfort zone if you want to achieve all your goals,” said Wardentine, who will be desperate for the reliable salary and other benefits of the job he is boldly exiting once his first project leaves him $40,000 in debt. “Let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger. So if I don’t give it a shot now, then when?” At press time, Wardentine was bidding a fond farewell to the coworkers he will be emailing three years from now about potential openings in any department at the company.

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