NASHVILLE, TN—According to sources at a house party on Campbell Street this evening, local man Brent Williams, who is currently having the time of his life, will soon have to apologize to all 15 people in attendance. “Wooooo!” shouted Williams in pure elation, less than 24 hours before he will reportedly struggle to make eye contact while apologizing to friends for flirting with their girlfriends, screaming out lyrics to songs, dancing on top of the coffee table, and whipping beer bottles off the back deck. “Hey, who wants to do shots? Come on!” Party sources later reported seeing Williams doing the worm precariously close to a 43-inch plasma television that will require half his next paycheck to replace.
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