RED FIR, CA—Spending what seemed like the correct amount of time soaking in the beauty of the massive tree, local man Matt Tedesco assumed Wednesday that he probably stared at a giant sequoia long enough to appreciate it. “I mean, it’s definitely really big, and I went and stood under it, so I think I get how majestic it is by now,” said Tedesco, who admitted it was difficult to determine if he had properly appreciated the 250-foot conifer because all the trees in the grove were also pretty big, or if he should gaze at the sequoia for another minute or two and maybe walk around it a few more times. “I’ve been standing here for, like, five minutes taking it in. I saw the sign saying it’s been around since ancient Greece, which is pretty cool. Right? I guess I’ll go look at 20 or 30 more trees and then I’ll go.” At press time Tedesco had taken a photograph, looked at the photograph, nodded, and moved on to the next tree.

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