SALEM, OR—Assembling what he could from the nonsensical musings, local man Donnie Sulkin was forced to reverse-engineer his point Wednesday in the midst of an absentminded rant. “Okay, so let me just work back and try to figure out what I was talking about at the beginning of this,” Sulkin thought as he hastily attempted to cobble together his original point from the few words and phrases he remembered saying while blathering. “If I could just rediscover what any of this was supposed to be about, I can salvage this jumbled diatribe into a semi-logical argument or at least one or two coherent sentences. I guess I’ll have to keep talking and hopefully buy enough time to figure out the reason I’m doing so.” At press time, Sulkin had realized he’d never recall why he’d begun speaking and was now just praying that people would start walking away.