ALLENTOWN, PA—Expressing his excitement while watching the latest Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer, local man Tim Abrams told reporters Monday that he couldn’t wait to find out if the Millennium Falcon gets out of that tunnel. “It would be such a bummer if it’s stuck in there for the whole movie,” said Abrams, who was looking forward to the starship “doing other stuff like flying through asteroid belts, shooting things, and landing different places.” “Oh my god, what if there’s a fork in the tunnel and then they can’t figure out which way they’re supposed to go? It stinks, because they’d probably miss all the good space battles.” At press time, Abrams was mentally preparing for the Millennium Falcon to not escape the tunnel after seeing Chewbacca scream.


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