CHICAGO—Saying he hoped his choice would not kill the room’s vibe, sources confirmed Thursday night that local man Jared Chambers was anxiously scanning fellow patrons at Collin’s Tavern to judge the reaction to his recent jukebox selection. “I think this is a pretty safe song, but I don’t know,” said Chambers, who reportedly appeared visibly relieved after seeing several people briefly nod along to the opening notes. “Nobody got really excited, but it doesn’t seem like anybody hates it, either. I think, at worst, some people just don’t care either way, and I guess I can live with that.” At press time, Chambers’ confidence in his song was suddenly destroyed after seeing another patron briskly get up and begin quickly flipping through the jukebox song catalogue.

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