WILLINGBORO, NJ—Telling reporters that he was seething and required an outlet for his rage, local insurance salesman Sean Godere confirmed Monday that he plans on taking out his anger on the first less powerful person he encounters. “I’m going to absolutely unload on the next person who crosses my path, provided they don’t have as high a social or professional standing as I do,” said Godere, who noted that it was unlikely he would bump into an intern at his office this afternoon and thus intended to head to either a grocery store or coffee shop, places he believes offer a high probability of interacting with a low-level service worker who could absorb the heated release of his temper. “As soon as I run into somebody who is several rungs below me in the socioeconomic hierarchy and who therefore has effectively no available means of holding me to account for my behavior, I’m going to snap.” Godere added that, should he fail to find a proper target before the end of the workday, the four members of his family he will see later this evening all meet his criteria.

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