IOWA CITY, IA—Despite his having almost no actual knowledge or strong convictions related to the subject at hand, sources confirmed that local man Brendan Enos managed to hastily throw together a makeshift opinion from the viewpoint that was currently dominating the conversation at a dinner party Wednesday night. “Yeah, I agree with what Greg’s saying, but I definitely see how there’s two sides to the argument,” said Enos, who, over the course of the discussion, had internalized enough of his friends’ passionate talking points to assemble a temporary point of view aligned with the majority opinion, frequently reiterating comments others had already made in order to support and defend his working thesis. “Right, right. I think that’s true, but here’s what you need to remember.” At press time, Enos decided to roll his eyes at a counterpoint that he was desperately hoping someone else on his side would have a sufficient enough understanding of to refute.

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