CHICAGO—Considering the bold words being bandied about haven’t amounted to anything yet, there sure is a lot of serious talk about making broth going on right now in a local apartment on West Charleston Street, reports confirmed Wednesday. “I was thinking I might make some broth for tonight,” said roommate Ryan Benson, who talked a pretty big game about “throwing in some beef bones” but had yet to actually grow a fucking pair, step up to the stove, and slowly simmer some meaty, thick-marrowed bones in order to draw out their subtle flavors. “You just have to boil water in a stockpot and then put in whatever you want. It’s easy.” At press time, skeptical sources indicated that a lot of cavalier boasts of maybe heading down to the farmer’s market to pick up some fresh carrots and celery had yet to a result in any apartment occupants enjoying a goddamn bowl of hearty stew.
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