CINCINNATI—Causing a wave of disgust and outrage among his fellow diners, local man Tobin Sullivan said Friday that, to his horrified surprise, he had found the deep-fried head of Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea, in his $8.99 Two Fish And Six Shrimp Combo Platter. “I was eating my fish when I noticed what looked like this long, flowing, batter-fried beard,” Sullivan said, adding that he later found the ocean deity’s entire fried trident amongst shrimp and coleslaw. “At first, I thought the head was just part of the fillet or something, but then when I saw the blank, watery eyes staring up at me, I knew something was not right. I mean, even at a fast-food place, there’s no excuse for letting the severed head of a god end up on a customer’s plate.” A spokesperson for Long John Silver’s told reporters that Sullivan had accepted a free order of hush puppies as compensation for the ordeal.
More from The Onion