SACRAMENTO, CA—After learning that the object of his desire was interested in other females, local man Dave Callan told reporters Wednesday that he had puzzled over whether she’s the type of lesbian who only dates other women or the kind that dates men, too. “Amy’s a lesbian—I know—but we really vibed the other night, so maybe she’s one of those lesbians who’s also kind of into dudes,” said Callan, adding that, since lesbianism existed on a spectrum, there’s a good chance that she’s attracted to at least some guys. “It really felt like we were about to kiss at the bar and then she told me she’s a lesbian, but there are so many different kinds of lesbianism. So does that mean no? It honestly doesn’t matter to me whether she’s a lesbian or not, I just want to know if I have a shot.” At press time, a rejected Callan was wondering whether Amy was the type who’s always a lesbian or the type that’s just trying it out.

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