List Of Names On Gchat Sidebar Like A Portal Into Area Man’s Past Lives

FRANKFORT, KY—Displaying nearly forgotten ghosts from his past like a hazy window through time, the list of names appearing on local resident Paul Thurman’s Gchat sidebar read like a catalog of the man’s former lives and identities, the 27-year-old graphic designer reported Wednesday. “There’s a guy from my ultimate Frisbee team back in college, and there are a couple people from my old pub trivia group—and, oh yeah, that guy had a summer sublet in our apartment a couple years ago,” said Thurman, caught off guard by the memories of so many bygone versions of himself as he scrolled through the long, green-dot-stippled monument to his erstwhile personas, interests, and aspirations. “There’s a guy who wanted me to design his business’s logo but I never heard back from him, some girls I dated once or twice, and a few coworkers from the Panera Bread where I used to work. And I think that Will Tyson down there might be the person who bought my old futon on Craigslist right before I moved out of Charlotte.” According to reports, Thurman then lingered for a moment on the name of someone he reluctantly admitted had been in an a cappella group with him before hastily closing the mail application and telling reporters that some past lives were best not revisited.

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