Lazy Man Waiting For Spark Of Inspiration To Finally Get Started On Masturbating

TOLEDO, OH—Delaying his usual afternoon session until such time as he felt genuine creative purpose, local man Andy Conrad decided to wait for a spark of inspiration before getting started on his masturbating. “I’ve been putting it off for most of the day because I really need to be in the right state of mind,” said Conrad, whose efforts to maintain a consistent schedule of self-pleasuring for 20 minutes each day had established a fragile momentum, but at the cost of novelty and quality. “I was on a hot streak for a while, but you can’t force true inspiration, especially in the morning. Masturbating every day can be a real grind, and I’m trying to avoid just going through the motions. I know some people can just force themselves to pound one out, but I need to have a strong, clear vision and sense of direction. I heard Ernest Hemingway could just set his jaw and go at any hour of the day or night, but I just can’t operate like that.” At press time, Conrad had decided to take a walk in the park to clear his mind and possibly get some material.

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